I had the unenviable job of writing and directing our ward's roadshow this year. I had a lot of fun writing the script, and am pleased to say the youth really came through in the end, despite early appearances to the contrary. Additionally, other adult ward members helped immensely, in amazingly valuable ways. While I won't be volunteering for the position again any time soon, it was a good experience and I feel very grateful. Below you will find my script. Our stake's theme was I'M A BELIEVER.


IKE AND IMA JUMP IN

OLEO
IN FRONT OF CURTAIN (while set is being arranged behind)
Ike and his friends enter and stand around a large half circle painted like the Earth. They are wearing and carrying various swim accessories like goggles, snorkel, floaties, etc. The only swim accessory Ike has on is swim flippers.

ANNOUNCER: In the world before Earth life began, Ike Weaver and his friends prepare.

IKE: My jump time has finally come! I’m sort of nervous, but really excited, too!

FRIEND 1: Oh, Ike Weaver, you have nothing to worry about. We’ll be rooting for you…won’t we guys?

FRIENDS: Oh, yeah. Of course we will. they nod, agree

IMA: Yeah, and who knows? Maybe OUR jump times will come soon and we’ll be down there on Earth with you!

IKE: flirting with IMA, I like that idea!

FRIEND 3: And you’ll have everything you need. Hands Ike the goggles Good parents and leaders to help you see the world clearly…Ike puts on goggles

FRIEND 4: Good friends…

IMA: interrupting, and flirting back a bit That’s us! But then mouths the word “ME” and points to self, while Ike’s not looking. A few crowd members notice and snicker

FRIEND 4: continuing, …to help you stay afloat in any situation. Puts a floatie on one of Ike’s arms while FRIEND 1 puts a floatie on Ike’s other arm.

IKE: looking longingly at IMA, Good friends are always very helpful.

FRIEND 1: hands Ike a snorkel, practically hitting him with it to get his attention away from IMA. And the scriptures, to keep you supplied with much needed oxygen to the brain!

IKE: flinching from the punch, then sheepishly, Sorry. Puts on snorkel, You’re right, I’ve got a lot of helpful tools. And I’ve already got this great conscience to steer me, lifts up foot to indicate flippers, but it still seems like I’m missing something.

FRIEND 3: It’s your “I Pod,” Ike. You can’t jump in without your “I Pod.” holds up extra large I Pod and gives it to IKE.

IKE: Oh yeah! Are all the “I” songs loaded onto it?

FRIEND 3: Of course. “I” Am a Child of God, “I” Have a Family Here on Earth…

IMA: “I” Lived in Heaven a Long Time Ago…

FRIEND 1: “I” Feel My Savior’s Love

FRIEND 4: You know, all those great songs that start with “I” that teach us so much about the meaning of life and how to live it.

FRIENDS: get it, agree, nod, etc

IKE: Great. I’m ready then. I hope your jump times will come soon, too. I guess this is good bye! Jumps off stage in front of Earth prop. A SPLASH is heard. FRIENDS carry Earth prop off.

Curtain opens to three separate scenes, one lit at a time, left to right. Left scene shows a mother in a rocking chair, singing and interacting with her baby. Piano accompanies.

ANNOUNCER: 6 months later…

MOTHER: singing I am a child of God/ and He has sent me here/ Has given me an earthly home/ with parents kind and dear… talking you know, Little Ikey, I always loved that part of the song. Knowing that I am a child of God has helped me a lot in life. And it’s my job to make sure you know you’re a child of God, too. It’ll be easy if I just keep singing all these great “I” songs to you. It’s a Weaver family tradition! Sings I feel my Savior’s love/ in all the world around me/ His spirit warms my soul/ through everything I see…notices a lump in the baby’s wrapping and feels for what it is. What’s this? Takes it out. It’s a pair of goggles. Confused, Huh?

ANNOUNCER: 8 years later…Ike is an energetic boy with a keen interest in outer space.

Light immediately transfers to next scene, center stage, a boy’s bedroom. Ike, as a young boy, is playing with space ship toys and having an imaginary conversation between earthlings and aliens. The thing he is using as a space ship is a swim flipper.

BOY IKE: in alien voice We are here to study your planet and its people. What is the secret to your success as a species? In earthling voice (his own) Roast beef, mashed potatoes and apple pie! Voice from off stage calls Ike to dinner. Coming Mom! Drops toys, starts to go out, lights transfer to scene at right.

ANNOUNCER: 8 more years later…Ike is taking his driver’s license test.

Right scene is the testing counter at the DMV, indicated by a sign that says “Driver’s License Tests This Way.” Ike will be there, along with several others, including FRIEND 1 and IMA, who are strangers to him now.

IKE: entering, notices IMA and scooches between her and FRIEND 1 in order to be near her. The voice of his thoughts, from off stage, pre-recorded: Wow, I’d like to meet her. How should I introduce myself? Trying out introductions, Hello. Don’t I know you from somewhere?. No. Too cheesy. Hi. So, should I drive on our first date or will you? No. Too forward. Trying to refocus, I won’t be driving her—or anyone—anywhere if I don’t pass this test. Concentrate. She probably wouldn’t give me the time of day anyway. Hey, that’s it. I’ll ask her the time. Aloud, Excuse me, do you know what time it is?

IMA: Huh? Oh, sure. I can look on my phone. I have it in here somewhere. She struggles to find it in her huge bag and starts taking things out and laying them on the table. One item she puts on the table is a snorkel. Ike makes an odd face when he sees it, and clears his throat. The searching is taking an uncomfortably long time.

IKE: Awkwardly, Uh, that’s okay, I can probably just look on my I Pod. At exactly the same moment, Ike and IMA take out gigantic “I” Pods, Ike’s from behind him, IMA’s from her huge bag. Their eyes meet. Recognition dawns. Cascading bells (piano) highlight the moment.

IMA: My name is Ima Beale.

IKE: Ima Beale, nice to meet you. I’m Ike Weaver. They shake hands meaningfully

FRIEND 1: Hey, could one of you two give me the answer to number 63?

IKE and IMA: shaking their heads resolutely I believe in being honest. Piano plays the tune, lights go out.

As scenes are being cleared from stage in the dark, three aliens walk across the front of the stage while talking. Surprisingly, they don’t have monotone voices, but uppety British accents.

ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, in a world far away…

ALIEN 1: Bob, I’ve been thinking we should investigate the planet Earth. Its peoples have lasted eons.

ALIEN 2: Excellent notion, Fred. They seem capable of adapting to varied climates. In all, they are extraordinarily successful. Betty, what’s your opinion?

ALIEN 3: Thanks for asking, Bob. Earthlings are very adaptable indeed. Why just this eon they’ve undergone an ice age, myriad wars, impressive space exploration, global warming, and Brittany Spears. Just then, Hit Me Baby One More Time plays, and ALIENS 1-3 do a synchronized little dance move, then continue their walk/talk as if it hasn’t happened.

ALIEN 1: I concur. We’ll go forward then. Let’s find out what it is that makes Earthlings such a successful species. They exit.

ANNOUNCER: 6 months later…

Ike and his friends are getting in a van to go to a fireside. They sing, to the tune of Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song as they “drive” along (van is a cardboard cutout):

IKE and FRIENDS: Anyone who needs a ride, we’re headed to the fireside, Make sure that your shoes are tied, Guys you might even find your bride, Where all our standards coincide we’re going to the fireside, Come even if your hair is dyed, and someday we’ll be glorified, abide with me tis eventide, and meet me in the front row at the fireside.

There is a sudden jerk to a stop. A spaceship has landed (done with lighting). Everyone in the car is shocked and scared. ALIENS 1-3 emerge.

ALIEN 1: Greetings. Do not be alarmed. We come in peace.

ALIEN 2: We bring you this, as a sign of our good intentions. Presents Ike with a swim flipper; Ike and friends make confused faces.

ALIEN 3: We are here to study your planet and its people. We find you to be very adaptable.

ALIEN 1: This is our question…What is the secret to your success as a species?

IKE: Funny you should ask; we have a musical number prepared on that very subject!

Group in van pushes van over; jazz hands while they form lines for the I song choreography. Everyone pulls out their giant “I” Pods, puts in their earbuds, and begins to sing and dance.

IKE and FRIENDS:
I lived in heaven a long time ago it is true.

I am a child of God and He has sent me here.

I have a family here on Earth, they are so good to me.

I love to read the Holy Scriptures.

I love to see the temple.

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know who I am, I know God’s plan, I’ll follow Him in Faith.

IKE: I hope they call me on a mission, when I have grown a foot or two.

IKE and FRIENDS:I will follow God’s plan for me, holding fast to his word and his love, I will work, and I will pray, I will always walk in his way, then I will be happy on Earth…

ALIENS: …and in my home above indicating above with ‘Mork’ fingers.

IMA: Now you’re getting the idea.

ALIEN 1: Yes, we’re beginning to understand.

ALIEN 3: But we’d like to know more!

IKE: Well, if you’re that interested, why don’t you come with us to the fireside?

ALIEN 2: Even if my hair is dyed?

IKE and FRIENDS: Of course, come on! They give general encouragement, pick up the van, and the aliens get in and all go off stage as the curtain closes.

EPILOGUE (in front of curtain)
ANNOUNCER: Years later…after a beautiful temple wedding…

Ike and Ima, holding hands and talking, cross the stage.

IKE: You were a beautiful bride, Ima.

IMA: And you are a wonderful husband, Ike. But the thing I like most about being married to you is my new full name.

IKE: It’s a good one, alright. And I love hearing you say it.

IMA: loud, with exaggerated enunciation IMA BEALE WEAVER