“Enough is enough,” my parents used to say. When I was a kid I thought the phrase meant something like ‘good grief.’ Now I understand it better. In fact, my daily life is filled with examples that compel me to utter, as my parents did, “Enough is enough!”
Like most people, I appreciate knowing what to expect each day with regard to the weather. I need basic information: the expected temperature in degrees Fahrenheit, whether an umbrella might be handy, if a trip to the store for emergency rations is called for.
Instead, the weather report is like an involuntary college course, sandwiched between tidbits of actual news. And when you hear an awkward transition or lame pun, you know the course is about to begin.
“Yes, Hannah, those bank robbers got away with a lot of green. And speaking of green, we see quite a bit of it in today’s Doppler images of the valley.” The meteorologist then throws in a few marginally interesting facts about Doppler technology, its color spectrum, its accuracy, maybe even its inventor, Christian Andreas Doppler, who hailed from Austria. “Our hail won’t be coming from nearly that far, though, Hannah [fake yet hearty laugh], and I’ll have more on that for you after the break."
If I cared about old Chris Doppler and his multi-hued radar, if I gave one hoot about what a barometer measures, if I had an iota of interest in anything having to do with “ridges of pressure,” I would go to meteorology school.
I happen to be familiar with complicated and impressive jargon specific to the teaching profession. I use it when necessary, in company with other speakers of teacher-ese, but you don’t find me unleashing it on unwilling listeners who simply want to know when the PTA meets.
And when did it become necessary for weather people to tease us unmercifully during our favorite TV shows? They’ve begun to sound like movie trailer narrators with their dramatic inflections and suspense-provoking pauses: “How long will the hot spell last? Or...will it? You’ll find out...at eleven.”
But if you believe you’ll actually find out at eleven how long the hot spell will last, you’ll be sorely disappointed. You will first have to sit through a lecture on what happens when cold air collides with warm air, an exhaustive list of the names of every weed that ever made anyone sneeze, and a photograph of high cloud cover sent in from a viewer who recently turned 100. Enough is enough!
On a recent sunny day, I found myself in the grocery store in preparation for a pic-nic. In the potato chip aisle, Doritos brand offered me 13 different flavors of chips. One, ominously named Fiery Habanero, boasted the description “A flaming-hot journey into a spicy inferno of habanero flavor.” I had to look around to confirm I was in a food store. Such a description might’ve just as easily been found in a travel guide, a nightly news arson report, or on the dust jacket of a work by Dante.
Cheetos brand was even worse. Among its offerings were Color Changing Cheetos Puffs, variously flavored Cheetos Asteroids, Flamin’ Hot Chile Cheetos con Limón, and Xxtra Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Extreme.
I was compelled to ask, are our collective taste buds so deprived that we must resort to fiery infernos and asteroid bursts to feel stimulated? As if in answer to my question, the preloader at Doritos.com urges, “Prepare to take snacking to a higher level.” As my waistline can proudly attest, I was perfectly happy with the former, apparently insufficient level of snacking. Enough is enough!
Annoying as it can be, living in a world where ‘enough’ seems an elusive concept has its bright side, too. Variety and stimulation, even in extremes, are signs of innovation, creativity and free market opportunity. The fact that I am free to complain about all that is too extreme in my life is a bounty about which I will never say, “Enough is enough.”
