AFTER (finally)

After Betty, Corinne and Mom (the Dream Team) left, my family immediately went on a 4 day camping trip to the Big Trees (which was breathtaking). Right after we got back we had visitors from So Cal who stayed two weeks (and showered us with generosity). Upon their leaving we spent the weekend at Six Flags Marine World (fun/vertigo). Today, Monday, I have exhaled for the first time in many weeks (aaahhhh). And so to the BLOG!


THE LIVING ROOM

These companion paintings were a wonderful find because they bring together all the colors of the room.


Here they are in their grouping of mirrors. The large mirror is made of a frame I already had and a larger, broken mirror I already had, cut and set for me for free by the great people at Miller Glass here in Chico. The other two mirrors are antiques given to me by Corinne.


These two photos show what is above and below that arrangement of color and mirrors. The giraffe in habitat in the window was a birthday present from my sister Jamie. The brown and coral colored pillows are left over from my former home's decor and I never would have thought they'd fit in to this new one, but they do, complemented by new pillows in highly textured tweeds and animal prints (made by me with finish work by Betty).


And speaking of finish work, the triangles on the couch (made from a former window treatment by my mom) were a bit of Betty genius. They set the tan couch apart from the yellow wall in a lovely way that really can't be appreciated in pictures. You can also see in this picture another beautiful antique mirror given to me by Corinne, a tablecloth made from an animal print scarf I happened to have on hand, and the wonderful rug I got at a discount fabric store for a song. A word about antiques: I'm not an antiquey kind of gal. I never would have thought to include antiques in any space of mine, let alone an international sort of safari themed one. But they really work to make the whole feel of the room slightly more formal, more homey, and less like a meal at the Elephant Bar. Way to go Corinne!


In this shot you can see how rich all the colors and textures are. I LOVE IT! The drum was a Home Goods purchase, the grass another touch Corinne brought, and please notice the bookend "holding up" the little old table (more info on him below).

This is a favorite detail of mine on this wall. It is a piece entitled "The Twelve Apostles." I believe it was a gift from Marge Simpson (Betty's sister) to my Uncle Paul, brought from a trip to Ireland. I love its simplicity, its subject matter, its origins and its look. Thank you for passing it on to me, Uncle Paul and Aunt Corinne! It is cherished in my home!

Here are two other arrangements on the red wall about which I feel very pleased and proud. They are the hand-carved Mahogany elephants I traded for an old pair of K-Swiss tennis shoes in a Massai village in Kenya, and Man/Woman masks bought from the same people. The giraffes are only from Michaels, but they feel very comfortable here, I'm sure.




These two photos show another side table dressed with fabric I had on hand, classic sconces added by Corinne, a wonderful beaded touch on the candle, a darling tic-tac-toe board with Eiffel Tower and Arc d' Triumph shaped pieces, a Somali sea shell, and an Asian easel holding a leopard print frame with a snapshot of a Chinese landscape taken by my dad. Europe, Africa, Asia...check!

I love this detail. My dad had a set of bookends from Central America (Honduras, maybe?). This one came loose from its stand and now hangs out on the side of this bookcase. The stand he was separated from is now a coaster which you will see later.

This picture shows the bookcase my Honduran guy is guarding. It is a well-protected affair, as there is also a Chilean Indian on the shelf third from bottom (close-up below), a Guatemalan wildcat artifact on the top inner shelf, and a diligent, iron birdie making sure the yard sale urns and pine cones stay together. The African thumb harp isn't capable of guardianship, but is worth mentioning nonetheless.

Chilean Guardian of Books. South America...check.

Here is Betty's favorite place to sit, think up wonderful ideas, and in general be the Queen of Sheba. It is my favorite place to do the morning crossword and sudoku. The chair was $3.50 at a yard sale. The cushion was one I had on hand recovered by my mom in fabric I had on hand. The basket I had on hand, the bowl of textured balls I had on hand. You'll read more about the little table/box in a minute. But in general, resourcefulness city!

The geese at the right make such awesome silhouettes both from inside and outside, and seem to change with the light. It's not very noticeable in this picture, but there is an ethnic little bird in the window at left as well. He wants to be a goose.


This fabulous wall hanging was given to me by Betty. This is another thing that, if I had seen it away from the space, I would never have thought to choose it for this room. But it is so perfect here! Great shapes, ruddy texture, quintessentially African in its feel. Thank you Betty for having the eye to know it would complete my room.


I seem to be saying "I never would have thought" an awful lot in describing the wonderful things that have turned my house into a home. This is the grand poo-bah of them all. When we were in the garage in search of a tool of some kind, both Betty and Corinne's eyes went straight to this tool box. To me it was just a tool box, special only because it was made by my dad as a scout project in about 1948. But the team said bring it in! It was dusted and oiled, but still looks "rough"---just right for the room. It now holds all my piano music. (Watch for how its inner tray was used later on.) And the coaster on top? That's right, it's the stand that used to be attached to the Honduran bookcase guardian. :)

Another stroke of genius by Betty and Corinne...PROBLEM: ugly brass switch plates. SOLUTION: cover them in decorative paper. RESULT: switch plates that both blend in and stand out in the room. It's all in the details!

Corinne found this at a Tai Pan tent sale. It's the perfect piece for my dome shaped entry way window.
These were part of my flower themed former decor and I had a hard time giving them up. Fortunately, this stair wall adopted them and all are restored to happiness.



Entry Hall. The box at bottom is for the putting on, taking off and storing of shoes. However, the notion has not quite caught on among the under 12 set.

Here is the Piano Wall, Betty's professed favorite. Corinne brought me this interesting 8x10 frame, but I was (wisely) disallowed from using it for family pictures. I found this snapshot of a lion that Dad and I took on safari in Kenya, and set it in the frame on a background of black cardstock. It is a small touch that packs punch! Also seen are antique tin boxes, one of which was my Grandma Black's, a camel flower pot, and a stone woman bell from Central America. The mirror, clock and candle stand I already had on hand. Thanks to Corinne for the tile, hanky and other touches.


I got this piano bench for $2 at a yard sale. It had tan legs and a beige vinyl top (or was it beige legs and a tan top?). It was Plain Jane city. Thanks to Mom and Corinne, it is now Fancy Nancy!



THE FAMILY ROOM
The family room is still very much a work in progress. White Waldo is still white, for example, and I am not happy with the placement of all the family pictures yet. But ideas are underway and I hope to finish things up by summer's end. A few things are worth showing, though, namely......the CHEECKEN!! You already know how much I love it, and Betty had the wonderful idea of featuring it on the main wall of the family room, right above the fireplace. I had this 'chuckle' already, and in fact was ready to give it away, but it seemed to finish off Cheecken's look so perfectly that it now lives here. I LOVE MY CHEECKEN!


Have you been watching, as instructed, for the inner tray of the old toolbox? Corinne had the idea to turn it into a 3D frame for a collage of family photos. She suggested gluing buttons and little decorative items in the empty spaces, which I did a bit of, but I decided to also add small tools, in homage to the tray's roots. Some of the pictures are coming loose and need to be glued in earnest (double sided tape did not do the trick), but all in all it's a successful and charming project, agreed?


This sketch of my dad was done by a high school classmate of his as a poster for a school play in which my dad apparently starred. It was done in the early 1950s. There is some damage to it, but it is now well preserved in safety glass etc. I love the piece, but the jury in my brain is still out about its placement on this wall. I'll have to wait and see what I think once White Waldo turns into Black Bert and other touches are complete in the room.


This is a wonderful touch hanging in the breezeway between the living and family rooms. It is a chime Dave and I bought for ourselves as an anniversary present at a local music festival. We loved the sound it made, so we hung it on an eave outside our bedroom window. Hearty spring breezes notwithstanding, it never chimed once! Apparently it requires gale force winds to operate. So, it now lives here as art. We love it!

THE BATHROOM

So many people comment on this as the "mirror on a mirror" in my little Western powder room. But it is simply a pine frame that once held an art canvas, covered lovingly in rope by Betty and suspended by fishing line from above. It is at the perfect level to frame my face when I stand in front of it. If you're not my height, you're out of luck.



Here are two more shots of bathroom details, including an authentic horseshoe, and a sign, hung at eye level to someone sitting on the toilet, that reads "On this spot in 1837 NOTHING happened." This last picture is dark, but you can see the darling rope window treatment that I think makes a big splash. Love it. North America...check.



TO THE TEAM
Thank you so much for your hard work both physical and mental, for putting up with my children's messes, for remembering that horses gallop, and especially for introducing things that I "would have never thought" of. I'll keep you posted as the family room progresses. Thank you again with all of my heart! I absolutely LOVE walking down my stairs and seeing my beautiful living room that combines class and pizazz in all the most wonderfully ethnic ways. Love and blessings to you all!!

Update

International living room complete! Family room underway. Pictures to come soon!

White Waldo and Milk Toast

YARD SALE - $40 GOTTA LOVE IT!

A COATED MESSAGE

Houston, we have paint...
Remember, you can click on each picture to make it bigger, then click the 'back' button on your browser to come back.



Above, you see the yellow (French Pastry) main wall, red (Cherry) fireplace wall, and brown (Desert Sandbar) stair landing wall (in shadow). All colors are Valspar Signature.



In this second picture, you see two Desert Sandbar browns (even though they look like two different browns, they are not), and the one OOPS, albeit a big one, about my color choices: Valspar's Brioche, a.k.a. bright-freaking-orange. It looked tame and stylish in all my sample blotches, which were applied with a foam craft brush, not a nappy roller. Certain times of the day it is likable, but in some lights it is down right hideous. I think I'll have to do a sponge treatment on it in a lighter color glaze. I will gladly take all your "I told you so's" now. In my defense, it is very difficult to find a lighter version of orange without its looking peach.



Here you see one of the other two places this Brioche color appears: the niche around the front door. Again, for about an hour each day it looks great. The rest of the time, not so much. Fortunately, the third place I put it is the small area around the under-stair closet door, which you can just see at the right in the picture below.



The bulletin board wall is the French Pastry yellow, which I absolutely LOVE. It is SO buttery and wonderful. Even though it didn't work for the orange, I have to say I am SO glad I did a whole bunch of patchwork sample blotches in several places throughout the house. It helped me choose the most perfect yellow, one which I NEVER would have chosen from looking at paint chips alone.



Here above is the family room side of the fireplace wall. The Cherry is rich and wonderful. I love it.



Not all the walls in the family room have been painted yet. I chose a much lighter brown for them, called Milk Toast, but it will be painted later this week. However, I chose the Desert Sandbar brown for the bar wall and the six inch edge of the dropped kitchen ceiling. It will set off the kitchen nicely, and I was surprised to see the color goes nicely with the green leaf wallpaper as well. I had planned on doing red in these two places, but the fireplace wall is accent enough, believe me.



And this is what Cherry looks like at the top of the living room, flanked by buttery French Pastry now, and adjacent to Milk Toast when the family room gets its coat. Boy these walls are making me hungry!



GOOD NEWS! I GOT MY ROOSTER! Happy birthday to me! I have wanted this rooster for the better part of a year, and finally sprang for it. I got it at the same time I bought all my paint and was therefore stung by buyer's remorse in the face of the cost of everything. The rooster was sitting on Sophie's car seat when I drove through a fast food place for breakfast shortly after spending a small fortune. A very flamboyant Hispanic worker there confirmed the wisdom of my rooster purchase when he noticed it and said, while handing me my food, "Oh my ghosh! Where dee yoo ge tda cheeken?? Ees SOO kyoo!" To make matters even better, I received a birthday card from Mom with a check for the exact amount I'd paid for the rooster! I'm telling you, this rooster was meant to be!!

Rearrange!

In trying to get the house ready for painters to come, I cleared out all the extra stuff and was left with only furniture. This was a good time to experiment with furniture placement. I took pictures so my team could see the possibilities ahead of their visit, and perhaps 'vote' on their favorites.








In these first three photos, the long couch is against the East wall, and the love seat is coming out at an 'L' angle from it, into the room. The space between the end of the love seat and the wall is narrow. As you can see, I moved the piano, which was no small task, truth be told. My feeling as I sat in this little area was that it was LITTLE. Of course behind this area there is ample room for what we have dreamed as a library, but I almost feel like it magnifies the smallness of the space. While having the fireplace as the focus of the sitting area is ideal, these couches are too big, and this space a bit small to not feel crowded.


Next I opened the space entirely, and put the long couch further south on the East wall, and the love seat against the wall formerly known as the "piano" wall opposite it. This opened the space in a lovely way. Knox was drawn into the area because there was so much room for back walkovers and handstands. In this scenario the library would be over across from the fireplace, and would share space with the piano. I love the feeling of this layout; it was open and large, but I did NOT like the fact that to get to the family room, you had to walk between the couches, or in other words, the traffic lane went right through the middle of the sitting area instead of behind or around it. Here are two pictures of that layout, including Knox and Sophie and their acrobatics. I should note that the coffee table in the corner, covered in paint supplies is not part of the equation, but was just left there for want of where else to stash it. As you can see in the second picture below, the hall was already full of stuff.




Finally, I put the small couch in the Southeast corner and the long one parallel to it coming out from the east wall. Although this is still a small sitting area, it allowed for a comfortably wide walkway from the front door to the family room entrance. I also like that the "formal" living area is the first thing one walks into upon entering the house. Again the library in this scenario would be at the north end of the room and share space with the piano. But get this: my decorating wheels are turning so much, that I actually considered doing away with the piano all together. Where it sits now (between the fireplace wall and the window on the north wall), would be a wonderful place for my five 4' IKEA free floating shelves. Am I crazy or what?




Well, that's it for now. Let me know what you think, Dream Team.

Let the BETTYFICATION begin!

BETTYFICATION - noun/pun on the word beautification. The process by which ordinary houses become fabulous homes. WORD ORIGIN: Betty Box, composer, seamstress, package wrapper, home decorator and all around creative trend-setter, has helped to decorate the homes of every woman in my family, accommodating very divergent tastes and getting beautiful results using unique methods and always thinking outside the proverbial Box! MODERN USAGE: Any creative overhaul of decor with fabulous results, often including pictures hung close to the floor, trinkets suspended by fishing line, and the display of decorative yard sticks.

BETTYFY - verb/pun on the word beutify. To make ordinary houses become fabulous homes. WHO CAN BETTYFY? Betty Box, naturally, Corinne Simpson, Susan Rozier, all of the Simpson daughters and daughters-in-law, and, to a lesser extent, me, with a lot of help from Betty, Corinne and Susan.

This post is really just for my decorating dream team, comprising the above-named Bettyfiers, who will be visiting me and Bettyfying my home at the end of June (picture me doing cartwheels at the thought of it!). Most other readers will find it boring because they lack the ability to think outside boxes and dismiss things that cannot be noticed from atop galloping horses. The purpose of this post is to orient my team to the projects at hand and seek advanced advice so I can be as prepared as possible for the convergence of this brilliant team. For further correspondence, we can chat in the comments section below, or through regular email.

And now to business...

My house is 4 bedrooms, two baths upstairs and a kitchen, guest bath, hallway and two living areas (one including a small dining area) downstairs. Although every room in the house needs work, I would like to focus during your visit on the downstairs only, MAINLY the more formal of the two living areas (which I refer to as the living room), which is what one sees upon entering the front door.

Here's the front door and what you see when you go through it.




The downstairs is basically a circle around the stairway. To the left of the entrance there is a hallway that leads to the garage door at left, guest bath straight on, and one entrance to the kitchen at right, as shown here. That bulletin board on the left is really my first successful project in the house. It's covered in a fabric that complements another fabric I have, which is yet to be turned into a side-table cloth or runner or something fabulous that Betty comes up with. Here is a look at the fabric, which shows my hoped-for color pallet, although I'm not sure the colors will turn out true on this medium. Also, truth be told, I'm a bit iffy about the colors I chose. We'll talk more about color in a bit, but just to put a name to the colors you see here, that's soft orange and a deep red and a yellow/gold. I LOVE the red (my fireplace wall, which you will soon see, is in the process of becoming that red), LIKE the idea of the orange, but am feeling a bit insecure about how/where to use it, and I'm not crazy about the yellow/gold here. It comes off as too green, I think.


Back to the tour. If you look to the right from the open front door, you see the formal living area, which is a long, narrow room. Technically, I think a portion of it is designed as a formal dining area, but we won't be using it as such. The room is a bit problematic in how narrow it is, but I just know the team will come up with furniture arrangement that will make it look great.

From the open door:


Turning to the right from the open door:



A view of the front door from the far end of the room:


Current couch placement (many things are out of place because we're painting and because we just moved a big shelving unit--known by Mom and me as "Brown Bob"--into the family room):


Piano "wall":

In this piano photo (above) you can see the entrance to the family room/dining room, which adjoins the kitchen, completing the circle. On the right side of this opening is the fireplace, which is a pass-through fireplace, with access from both rooms. Here below is a photo of that, and the architectural elements above it that most definitely need to be Bettyfied, Cornified and/or Momified (at the left of the first picture below you can see the aforementioned Brown Bob, who houses our computer and arts center):



It should be noted that on the living room side, the ceilings are two stories high. On the family room side, they are low. Here is the family room side of the fireplace:


The fireplace wall--BOTH living room and family room sides--is being painted red. In this picture, it has just been primed.

Now here are more pictures of the family room and dining room area:

Meet Brown Bob.

Dining area, obviously.

Sliding glass door to the right of dining area, leading to back patio/yard.

Detail above sliding glass door...needs a bit of help.

Kitchen, which is to the left of dining area, opposite sliding glass door. Nice 80s oak and white tile as you can see. I'd like to overhaul it entirely, but of course that will have to wait.


And here we come full circle to the hallway with the bulletin board:

I did this stenciling around the bulletin board, but it may need to be painted over, we'll see.

Below are the pantry and hall closet opposite the bulletin board.


I thought we could make a few little touches to my guest bath that would spice it up. It has a cowboy theme, but it needs a rope border (like Marissa's room) and maybe some vinyl lettering on that gigantic mirror. Also, I'd like to paint the big star red and have other red touches.




That's bluish, vertical striped wallpaper that fits just fine with the cowboy theme so I'm keeping it.

And now more about color...There is a website called kuler.adobe.com that is a very cool place to explore and create color combinations. I created a pallet there called LaDawn Happy Autumn. HERE is the link to it. On further inspection, I find the brown there to be too dark, but the red, gold and orange look right.

Anyway, I've got all these white walls and they're driving me crazy. I would like to try to have them all painted before you get here, but that means I have to make color decisions without you and that scares me! Initially I had chosen a cocoa color, but then I looked around. My couches are tan, my carpet is tan, my wood furniture is oak, my hard floors are light, my piano is brown...get the idea? WAY too much neutral. So I set out to find some actual COLORs that I could live with and that's when I came up with the pallet that, hopefully, shows on the link above. I was going to do the long living room wall orange, the fireplace and perhaps the alcove around the front door red, and the rest yellow, with the hallway and upstairs brown. Then that seemed like TOO MANY colors. My lack of decisiveness has left my walls white, and getting dirtier and dirtier by the week (children, markers, hand and footprints etc). I realized I was being stalled by the enormity of the task...which colors, which walls, and those hugely high ceilings in the living room. But I was certain I wanted the fireplace wall red, so I'm just going forward with that.

I'm not that big a fan of that yellow/gold color, but it seems the least obtrusive, so I thought I'd use that, but I just don't like it enough. I DO like the orange color, but it seems a bit too bold to put on an entire wall, especially the size of the long living room one, so I'm wondering how to better include orange in the space. And the brown I love, but it seems a bit too dark, and perhaps too neutral for all those big walls as well. So, taking these thoughts into consideration and (hopefully) having seen the colors, do you have suggestions?

Another thing to mention is the wallpaper in the kitchen/dining room area. It's visible in the dining room picture above, but here is a close up of it: There's a bit of glare on one of the leaf sets, but the set at lower left shows the color. It's definitely green, which I'm not crazy about, but I'm hoping a simple brown will complement it and go well with the red also. Eventually I definitely want all the wallpaper gone, but truth be told I'm totally intimidated by the idea of removing it all (my upstairs bathroom is a wallpaper disaster!), so I'm just trying to tie it in for now.

So, that's color. Let me know what you think.

The next thing I want to talk about is an idea I have for a feature in the living room. As you'll see in the pictures below, my long, narrow living room is flanked by pretty windows, but there's a long, empty space (I estimate about 16 feet) between them. So far I have separated the room into sitting area and work area (when Brown Bob was in there) and/or library. I imagine we probably still will separate the space if I know my team. But to unify the divided-use space, I thought a long shelf up at the level of the upper window that spans all three walls might be nice. Kind of like the big one Paige has in her living room, only turning two corners as well. We could bring fabric down from each end of it, or shelving for books, or both. Window treatments could also hang from it. I already have several 2x4s that could be painted for the purpose, and I have a couple of brackets that are attractive. Shelving is definitely a priority, as I have many books that have never made it in from the garage. Also, children's books ABOUND!

Between the right window in the picture above and the left window in the picture below is the approximately 16 foot wall I mentioned.


Other ideas include shopping for an area rug for the family room, pillows and throws for the living room couches, a major art piece or arrangement of pieces for that big long living room wall, and generally arranging furniture and already-existing decor items, of which I have many. I have two or three boxes of things I've not yet incorporated, and a fair amount of fabric as well. I have lots of curtain rods and shelving possibilities on hand already. As for a theme or feeling for my decor, I'm thinking colorful, artistic, and slightly ethnic. I have some interesting pieces from my travels in Africa and Italy, and I like the idea of finally displaying them. My budget at this point is around $500. I'll see if I can manage to add to it before you get here.

Here are some examples of what I have with a 'colorful and slightly ethnic' vibe. Carved wooden bowls, variously textured balls, vases, Aztec artifacts, Masai masks, Sicilian papyrus, etc. I also have some large carved mahogany elephants that Jamie has been storing for me. I'll get those back from her this weekend.

And here are a couple of pieces of furniture I have that are now in other rooms of the house but that could be used as the team sees fit:


Okay, Ladies. Comment away! Let's get going! I can't wait to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much for being willing to help me. I have so many ideas, but implementation is practically impossible (let's just say it's highly improbable) without a support group full of getterdone ladies like you!

I had the unenviable job of writing and directing our ward's roadshow this year. I had a lot of fun writing the script, and am pleased to say the youth really came through in the end, despite early appearances to the contrary. Additionally, other adult ward members helped immensely, in amazingly valuable ways. While I won't be volunteering for the position again any time soon, it was a good experience and I feel very grateful. Below you will find my script. Our stake's theme was I'M A BELIEVER.


IKE AND IMA JUMP IN

OLEO
IN FRONT OF CURTAIN (while set is being arranged behind)
Ike and his friends enter and stand around a large half circle painted like the Earth. They are wearing and carrying various swim accessories like goggles, snorkel, floaties, etc. The only swim accessory Ike has on is swim flippers.

ANNOUNCER: In the world before Earth life began, Ike Weaver and his friends prepare.

IKE: My jump time has finally come! I’m sort of nervous, but really excited, too!

FRIEND 1: Oh, Ike Weaver, you have nothing to worry about. We’ll be rooting for you…won’t we guys?

FRIENDS: Oh, yeah. Of course we will. they nod, agree

IMA: Yeah, and who knows? Maybe OUR jump times will come soon and we’ll be down there on Earth with you!

IKE: flirting with IMA, I like that idea!

FRIEND 3: And you’ll have everything you need. Hands Ike the goggles Good parents and leaders to help you see the world clearly…Ike puts on goggles

FRIEND 4: Good friends…

IMA: interrupting, and flirting back a bit That’s us! But then mouths the word “ME” and points to self, while Ike’s not looking. A few crowd members notice and snicker

FRIEND 4: continuing, …to help you stay afloat in any situation. Puts a floatie on one of Ike’s arms while FRIEND 1 puts a floatie on Ike’s other arm.

IKE: looking longingly at IMA, Good friends are always very helpful.

FRIEND 1: hands Ike a snorkel, practically hitting him with it to get his attention away from IMA. And the scriptures, to keep you supplied with much needed oxygen to the brain!

IKE: flinching from the punch, then sheepishly, Sorry. Puts on snorkel, You’re right, I’ve got a lot of helpful tools. And I’ve already got this great conscience to steer me, lifts up foot to indicate flippers, but it still seems like I’m missing something.

FRIEND 3: It’s your “I Pod,” Ike. You can’t jump in without your “I Pod.” holds up extra large I Pod and gives it to IKE.

IKE: Oh yeah! Are all the “I” songs loaded onto it?

FRIEND 3: Of course. “I” Am a Child of God, “I” Have a Family Here on Earth…

IMA: “I” Lived in Heaven a Long Time Ago…

FRIEND 1: “I” Feel My Savior’s Love

FRIEND 4: You know, all those great songs that start with “I” that teach us so much about the meaning of life and how to live it.

FRIENDS: get it, agree, nod, etc

IKE: Great. I’m ready then. I hope your jump times will come soon, too. I guess this is good bye! Jumps off stage in front of Earth prop. A SPLASH is heard. FRIENDS carry Earth prop off.

Curtain opens to three separate scenes, one lit at a time, left to right. Left scene shows a mother in a rocking chair, singing and interacting with her baby. Piano accompanies.

ANNOUNCER: 6 months later…

MOTHER: singing I am a child of God/ and He has sent me here/ Has given me an earthly home/ with parents kind and dear… talking you know, Little Ikey, I always loved that part of the song. Knowing that I am a child of God has helped me a lot in life. And it’s my job to make sure you know you’re a child of God, too. It’ll be easy if I just keep singing all these great “I” songs to you. It’s a Weaver family tradition! Sings I feel my Savior’s love/ in all the world around me/ His spirit warms my soul/ through everything I see…notices a lump in the baby’s wrapping and feels for what it is. What’s this? Takes it out. It’s a pair of goggles. Confused, Huh?

ANNOUNCER: 8 years later…Ike is an energetic boy with a keen interest in outer space.

Light immediately transfers to next scene, center stage, a boy’s bedroom. Ike, as a young boy, is playing with space ship toys and having an imaginary conversation between earthlings and aliens. The thing he is using as a space ship is a swim flipper.

BOY IKE: in alien voice We are here to study your planet and its people. What is the secret to your success as a species? In earthling voice (his own) Roast beef, mashed potatoes and apple pie! Voice from off stage calls Ike to dinner. Coming Mom! Drops toys, starts to go out, lights transfer to scene at right.

ANNOUNCER: 8 more years later…Ike is taking his driver’s license test.

Right scene is the testing counter at the DMV, indicated by a sign that says “Driver’s License Tests This Way.” Ike will be there, along with several others, including FRIEND 1 and IMA, who are strangers to him now.

IKE: entering, notices IMA and scooches between her and FRIEND 1 in order to be near her. The voice of his thoughts, from off stage, pre-recorded: Wow, I’d like to meet her. How should I introduce myself? Trying out introductions, Hello. Don’t I know you from somewhere?. No. Too cheesy. Hi. So, should I drive on our first date or will you? No. Too forward. Trying to refocus, I won’t be driving her—or anyone—anywhere if I don’t pass this test. Concentrate. She probably wouldn’t give me the time of day anyway. Hey, that’s it. I’ll ask her the time. Aloud, Excuse me, do you know what time it is?

IMA: Huh? Oh, sure. I can look on my phone. I have it in here somewhere. She struggles to find it in her huge bag and starts taking things out and laying them on the table. One item she puts on the table is a snorkel. Ike makes an odd face when he sees it, and clears his throat. The searching is taking an uncomfortably long time.

IKE: Awkwardly, Uh, that’s okay, I can probably just look on my I Pod. At exactly the same moment, Ike and IMA take out gigantic “I” Pods, Ike’s from behind him, IMA’s from her huge bag. Their eyes meet. Recognition dawns. Cascading bells (piano) highlight the moment.

IMA: My name is Ima Beale.

IKE: Ima Beale, nice to meet you. I’m Ike Weaver. They shake hands meaningfully

FRIEND 1: Hey, could one of you two give me the answer to number 63?

IKE and IMA: shaking their heads resolutely I believe in being honest. Piano plays the tune, lights go out.

As scenes are being cleared from stage in the dark, three aliens walk across the front of the stage while talking. Surprisingly, they don’t have monotone voices, but uppety British accents.

ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, in a world far away…

ALIEN 1: Bob, I’ve been thinking we should investigate the planet Earth. Its peoples have lasted eons.

ALIEN 2: Excellent notion, Fred. They seem capable of adapting to varied climates. In all, they are extraordinarily successful. Betty, what’s your opinion?

ALIEN 3: Thanks for asking, Bob. Earthlings are very adaptable indeed. Why just this eon they’ve undergone an ice age, myriad wars, impressive space exploration, global warming, and Brittany Spears. Just then, Hit Me Baby One More Time plays, and ALIENS 1-3 do a synchronized little dance move, then continue their walk/talk as if it hasn’t happened.

ALIEN 1: I concur. We’ll go forward then. Let’s find out what it is that makes Earthlings such a successful species. They exit.

ANNOUNCER: 6 months later…

Ike and his friends are getting in a van to go to a fireside. They sing, to the tune of Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song as they “drive” along (van is a cardboard cutout):

IKE and FRIENDS: Anyone who needs a ride, we’re headed to the fireside, Make sure that your shoes are tied, Guys you might even find your bride, Where all our standards coincide we’re going to the fireside, Come even if your hair is dyed, and someday we’ll be glorified, abide with me tis eventide, and meet me in the front row at the fireside.

There is a sudden jerk to a stop. A spaceship has landed (done with lighting). Everyone in the car is shocked and scared. ALIENS 1-3 emerge.

ALIEN 1: Greetings. Do not be alarmed. We come in peace.

ALIEN 2: We bring you this, as a sign of our good intentions. Presents Ike with a swim flipper; Ike and friends make confused faces.

ALIEN 3: We are here to study your planet and its people. We find you to be very adaptable.

ALIEN 1: This is our question…What is the secret to your success as a species?

IKE: Funny you should ask; we have a musical number prepared on that very subject!

Group in van pushes van over; jazz hands while they form lines for the I song choreography. Everyone pulls out their giant “I” Pods, puts in their earbuds, and begins to sing and dance.

IKE and FRIENDS:
I lived in heaven a long time ago it is true.

I am a child of God and He has sent me here.

I have a family here on Earth, they are so good to me.

I love to read the Holy Scriptures.

I love to see the temple.

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know who I am, I know God’s plan, I’ll follow Him in Faith.

IKE: I hope they call me on a mission, when I have grown a foot or two.

IKE and FRIENDS:I will follow God’s plan for me, holding fast to his word and his love, I will work, and I will pray, I will always walk in his way, then I will be happy on Earth…

ALIENS: …and in my home above indicating above with ‘Mork’ fingers.

IMA: Now you’re getting the idea.

ALIEN 1: Yes, we’re beginning to understand.

ALIEN 3: But we’d like to know more!

IKE: Well, if you’re that interested, why don’t you come with us to the fireside?

ALIEN 2: Even if my hair is dyed?

IKE and FRIENDS: Of course, come on! They give general encouragement, pick up the van, and the aliens get in and all go off stage as the curtain closes.

EPILOGUE (in front of curtain)
ANNOUNCER: Years later…after a beautiful temple wedding…

Ike and Ima, holding hands and talking, cross the stage.

IKE: You were a beautiful bride, Ima.

IMA: And you are a wonderful husband, Ike. But the thing I like most about being married to you is my new full name.

IKE: It’s a good one, alright. And I love hearing you say it.

IMA: loud, with exaggerated enunciation IMA BEALE WEAVER